So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
