I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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