Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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