have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
