its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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