you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dicks are not precious.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
