my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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