There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
