I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I am available for nakedness
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
