Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We have started to decorate penises.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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