Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
