he thought i was a dude.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
