She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
