chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
