Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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