She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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