dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
