i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
