just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
