I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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