Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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