I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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