I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
how drunk are you?
Several
try to milk me bitch
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
