You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
