i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
