she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
