I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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