What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
