My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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