the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
