I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
