my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
