Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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