doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
