I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
