I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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