Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
