Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
love makes seman taste better
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
