I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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