I'm really into asian looking animals
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
