We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
