Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just high enough for therapy.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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