from now on my penis is your penis
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
