Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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