Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
