quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
