jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
