everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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