Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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