While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
