I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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