I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
