So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
