I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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