You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
