With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
