drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
