this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
