Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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