the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
