Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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